“This is my church. This is where I heal my hurts”

The quote above is from a Faithless song. Anyone reading who did any partying in the ‘naughties’ will be familiar with Faithless, an English indi-electro group of largish following. The church they refer to is the dancefloor, the club, the drugs. While I’ve enjoyed that place, and had some realisations and growth there, it never has been my place of healing or homecoming. The place of healing and homecoming for me is the circle. The circle is where I come home to me, where I meet myself in all my imperfections and my glory, where I can come close to accepting my imperfections and my glory. I think for some people this happens within meditation. That place to connect with oneself without distraction, in solitude. I’ve done a lot of meditation over the years. A friend once said that I’d be able to meditate astride a picket fence. Meditation luckily seems to come fairly naturally to me though I’ve never tested her theory! The difference for me between meditation practice and sitting in a circle is that within a circle there are others to bear witness to my imperfections and my glory. While sitting in isolation I can play at seeing and accepting. I can skirt around the edges, dabble with the real me, let myself off the hook. But when I am witnessed by others there is no running away. When another imperfect person sees my shadows and still loves me, then I am potentially lovable. It opens the window that I need to heal myself. When someone else sees my greatness and accepts it, woah that it is really powerful. This is a much bigger challenge than accepting my failings and darkness. It means that I can possibly accept my greatness.

The only quote I have printed out and living with me in our kitchen is one by Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who I am to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” I think she's onto something ;-)

So, if ‘church’ is the place that we can meet ourselves, our light and our darkness, and maybe one day accept our whole selves I invite you to find your church. I encourage you to spend time there. If you’d like to share my church, to witness others and be witnessed, I would love that. Just contact me and we can work out the when and where. X